from the fantastic patterns of dreams to the surrealistic behaving of reality

written in Dinglish (that's Germanic English)

Nürnberg, Mittelfranken, 2003-11-13 - 6:04 a.m.

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wisest sentence of my life?

maybe the wisest sentence I ever said in life, was when I was five years old -

It was not that one of my parents later on told me, that I'd said that senctence - it was me who remembered later on & forever, so till now, my five-years-old outburst of knowing wisdom .

So the situation was - I was sitting on the floor in the snug small livingroom of my parents, constructing something with toy construction elements (Bauklötze) - quite happy, that I got enough skill and sense already to construct so fine & I said to my mother "Being 5 years old, is the best age - you're not too dumb to play anymore & you don't have to go to school already!" - (for I knew, my older brother, who was six already, had to get up very early each day, & was forced to go to some strange place called school, - that seemed to me very unpleasent thing to do.

And whatevere else I had babbled in that child age, I forgot - only this senctence in a moment of clear recognition of the matters of life, got till today burnt in my memory.

I did not know yet, that the gates of my innocent paradise would soon close behind me the yet totally unkown to me, of the struggle of life later on, you have to learn, to proof yourself, to find your place and position in life and always fight to keep it going, to defend it, and improve it & fight the fears of life - to have an make an income, fulfill your needs physicly & spritually - try to fulfill your hopes, dreams, searching for love, craving for sexual fulfilment, always keep on going forwards, for to rest means falling back. And if you find a momentary paradise of feeling good, knowing, you achieved, soon you have to go on, for the cold breaks in & the beauty of your shelter decays.

So the naiveness of not knowing & unawareness is the best shelter to keep you happy & satisfied for a while - the more you know - the more you mistrust the momentary state & feel the end of your already in the beginning - you close your eyes and try to enjoy in a of senses the precious moment, the half full of wine, the slowly vaining fruits of success, as long as it lasts..

This doesn't mean, I want to be five years again - as much as expearience and knowing can hurt, you never want to lose them again - partly you envy the happy fool, who unconsciously enjoys his follys, & although you know, the apple of knowledge was deadly - but you would never go back to unconsciousnes & share place with that fool..

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