from the fantastic patterns of dreams to the surrealistic behaving of reality

written in Dinglish (that's Germanic English)

Nürnberg, Mittelfranken, 2005-05-05 - 1:19 a.m.

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Is this still my place?

so for a long time I didn't write in my diary - I did even forget my password - but because of May having started (that's a lie) - or because of the Narnia books (yes they have a little bit to do with it) & of other reasons (maybe Alisons guestbook entry included - thank you Alison) - I decided to continue the good work (maybe subtile subversive mind-intriguing, maybe selfish - well just communication ) - & till now I didn't inform any of my "live" friends of my diary than 2 trustful ones . so I like to have this as my secret place, where only 'strangers', who don't have anything to do with my real life can see me
- so that's my Jekyll vs Hyde life - even in my real life I like to have certain kinds of friends & // or aquaintances - to be kept in different special chambers & don't mix them, because these different groups are 'times too different kind of people, like the indian caste's - they prefer to only consort, communicate with the equal caste - I, in contradiction, like a missionary on the street- am able to communicate with people of totally different types of caste's - well, but not with any - the cast of muerderers, thieves, Misusers, Nazis etc. I strictly refuse.

But the more different chambers of different circles you got in your life - the more you tend to neglect the one or the other.

Por example: if you have to care about 27 different groups of different people/friends castes - then you probably daily are in contact with group 14, 25 & maybe also group 3 - every few days you'r in communication with the groups 24, 26, 14, 9, 12, 2 & 1 (maybe also with group 27)

To & with the other groups you communicate with a most complicated difficult system of a totally planned, random access plan, that you, the inventor, never quite understood yourself.

That's the reason, why you - with a state of mind like mine - are so often neglecting connections sometimes for weeks or months - but if you notice it, are always very surprised, how time could have driven along so quick, that in a moment of time - it's 3 month's later.

& if you return to them, they often even don't know you anymore & have totally forgotten your name..

Hi - it's me - Heimo!

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