today Gentry's entry made me very happy - just like her entry 2 days ago & I must confess - it's true, often giving a present is also selfish - if it makes you happy to see the reflection, than you have also gifted yourself - that's like the love between couples - giving & taking - you get the love back, that you give - that's like 2 mirrors reflecting each other endlessly - they have self-fulfillment in themselves -
the higher state of giving is, if the receiver doesn't know, from whom it is - my philosophy in receiving is: if someone offers me something - I take it, be it money, things, presents, anything, as long as I think I'd like it or maybe be useful to me (I know people that are so polite, they refuse to receive, if you try to give them something) - the reason, why I take, without politely refusing, is the wisdom of a christian sister I overheard in my youth - she said: "if someone gives you a present - take it - because if he does it by true heart, than he gets also awarded by the joy, that he gave something - so he gifts himself - but if, on the other hand, he expects you to refuse, & regrets, if you don't, than he is a liar, who never really meant to give & is so by your taking punished for his lie & false offer -
I pondered about these words & till now am sure, they are still very true
you remember my entry of yesterday - Christiane & me - the children of the past with a tiny little bit of doctor gaming - today I was at my parent's & asked, whether they had any old childhood fotos around - after some search they found them & among them also 2 pictures of Christiane & me of probably just about the time I lived there for some weeks - I took all the foto's with me to scan them - they're so tiny & unsharp & watch out for the funny clothing we wore - well I had a really cool cap - but that was how children in the very poor time in the end of the 50th clad (clothed?) - a lot of the clothes were home made by our mothers then & of course pictures in that time were all black & white & we did'nt even had a tv or telephone, but we children missed nothing
the little dwarf to the left, close to the Holz-Pferd (wooden horse), was me..