from the fantastic patterns of dreams to the surrealistic behaving of reality

written in Dinglish (that's Germanic English)

Nürnberg, Mittelfranken, 2005-05-26 - 4:22 a.m.

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not want to be disturbed while diving for grain

.. but back from politics in my yesterday's entry to a strange dream I had one of the last nights - I wrote it down the same morning I woke up then, because you loose a dream if you don't catch it & fix it, while it's still slightly in your mind..

There were some threads in the dream I couldn't remember anymore, but the final scene was quite clearly burnt in my RW-Memory:

so this dream led me finally to a situation where there was a big round bowl like a silo (grain elevator) on the top of a hill - it was buried deep in the hill, jutting out over ground about 50 cm & was open on top, with mayby a radius of about 20 meters.

This silo was filled with something like grain, but a special spice grain (dune readers: remember Melange), that should bring you (me, us) to a higher state of being, transforming you somehow, while inhaling it - (whereto I don't know now awake, but in my dream I certainly knew) - there were more people standing around that silo, all waiting to get into that higher sphere of being -

below that hill there was a 'holy' or 'magic' woman about entering this silo through a small hidden door on foot of the hill some meters below us, to stand in the center ground of the silo, so totally covered with this spiritual grain.

There was someone like an instructor, teacher who told us, that we should duck our heads under into this grain stuff & inhale it, the moment this woman entered the silo & started to say some certain words, we would hear.

Hmm - all these people gathered close around that pool, ready to stuck their head in the right moment in that stuff - there was no free place left - a late coming woman tried to get near by me to the silo & I, politely as I am, stepped back & let her get my place - oops nothing was free anymore, but two places on I watched a small space in the ring of people & succeeded in pressing myself again to the pool's edge.

Good - the magick woman was in - & we all ducked our heads in that strange grain - I at once noticed, that I couldn't breath anymore & remembered, that it had only sense, if we heared these magic words by the woman down under in the silo - So at once I removed my head off the grain, seeing all others' heads still ducked under - then I thought I heard some of these magic words & I again ducked my head in, but still couldn't breath, so quickly returned my head - this happened to be repeated sometimes - I knew it would work out, if could breath under the surface of this suffocating grain mass.

I was eager to get or dig something out of it, by getting everytime I ducked in, deeper & deeper in that pool with half my upper body involved & I noticed, that I was in danger to loose balance, fall over the edge into the pool & drown there - so I tried to be more careful.

Meantimes I noticed, that a lot of these other disciples of 'higher being' were disappointed leaving the place still only a few of use still remained there. - So it wasn't that narrow & crowded anymore & there was more time & space to roam.

I decided to enter the pool, to come to the ground or the truth of it - I wanted to dig deep, for getting what I searched. - So - I really entered the grain pool - this time it was a bit like water & while holding my breath I dived under the surface, but still had in mind, that I might drown, & was afraid, that in this grain it wasn't possible to swim back to the surface - but I could.

I dived down as deep as I could, the silo got more narrow then & the floating grain got more concrete & blocked there, somhow clogged - & maybe that was the reason, that we couldn't hear the magic words of that 'holy' enchanting woman, we knew was on the ground of the that silo.

To set free the connection & communication to her, I plugged a lot of this dense grain from this narrow channel & brought it above, to free the channel below, but after a while couldn't go on more downwards. Had my efforts been in vain?

Close to disappointment I swam above, but noticed then, that I could breath within that brew, means I could inhale & all the grain, which has been in the beginning a concrete mass, was getting translucent like water meanwhile.

But that was not yet the real wonder I expected to happen. Then I saw some different coloured baloons rising very slowly from the depth. I caught one & hold it above my belly (by this time I was lying backwards under the surface of that grain fluid) & I noticed, that the baloon, by the force of the now animated grain, grew to a huge size one moment, but the other moment shrinked again to a minimum size. By this observation I knew, this strong strange power was working & would also work on my body.

Some of the few people, that were still around the pool, now also entered, dived in & lay & hang around to get the re-newing & healing of the grain-enhaling power - it was like a birth soup - I couldn't stay to wear clothes inside the grain & during this process - I tore my clothes off & threw them out the silo - other followed my example - shame was not needed here, sexuality not needed - there was something like a white shell or crust like calcium or salt crust covering most regions of my body & I watched the same phenomen also on some others around me - but I knew, this was only for a state we had to go through for a short while - all this had positive, healing, transforming character - but on the other side - when I got in bodily touch with one of the other persons in that pool, I couldn't stand it, too be so close to one of the others - but most of them didn't care, to be in bodily touch to another - some of them seemed to like to join together in this situation, by being close together & being in touch to another - but I disgusted it - if was a fault to the purifying & changing process I was inclined to have there in - so I avoided any body contact & had in the last to change my position from lying to stand up in that grain brew, to avoid any touch with the others..

I think - this moment I awoke.

This was a real strange dream - I was fascinated in the moment I awoke, by the facettes of this dream. The only way to keep a dream in memory is to repeat it in memory once or twice the moment you wake up. - Later on it's gone & you will never get it in memory again, than maybe just a short glimpse of it.

Some aspects of this dream I found interesting enough:
.. very typical for me: "the last to reach - the first to act"

in this dream I was the last to get even to the edge of that pool, most of these people were there before me & it was hard to get to the edge, my politeness was misused -
but on the other hand: no-one of these first-there-people found out anything - when most of them had left already, it was my turn to really get to the point & find out everything - but as soon, as I had shovelled the way free & it was available for everybody left - these others again began to occupy all the 'good' places in that pool & I was cornered to give up my comfortable position to the uncomfortable standing position just to avoid these others coming too close to me..

Nobody should tell me, dreams don't tell - they do! - But you have to watch'n'listen very closely.

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