from the fantastic patterns of dreams to the surrealistic behaving of reality

written in Dinglish (that's Germanic English)

Nürnberg, Mittelfranken, 2005-06-18 - 5:01 a.m.

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Time is on my side - but please not too close

all of my life I've been in bad relation to time - but probably it's not time itself - it's humans who divided it much over our ancient understanding of time divided by day & night, & the different heights of the sun, the cycles of the moon etc. - to this very precize clock-ticking of hours, minutes, seconds etc.

I'd like to control time by my moods, emotions & decisions - time shouldn't tell me all the time, what to do, about 'terms', appointments, wake up controll etc. - & we all hate ringing alarm clocks in the morning (by exception of the perverted early birds)

I want to teach time myself when it has to be where I want it to be, if casually I need time at a certain place - it shouldn't be late, if I want it to be early - I will teach the clocks to behave to my favour.

clocks don't stick to me - I'm a timeless creature & a clock (wrist watch) attached to my body makes me feel bonded, nervous - I start to feel controlled by time - there's a narrow cuff of time on your wrist - hand cuffs.

Ok - it can be comfortable to know always the time - (I know even people, who always know the actual date - how can they know it, when it always changes from day - yes that's the younger people that still think in days, not in centuries like we more aged ones) -

from time to time friends & relatives gave me clocks, mainly wrist watches - maybe an attempt to educate me to time? -

(Be informed that ww from here on in this entry means wrist watch, not world war!)

The first ww I got, was when I was 10 years old & spent my summer holidays at my aunt 'Rauthende' (english people could never pronounce this name correctly) in Hannover, I explored the town & she gave me the ww probably to be punctually back. - It was only lent.

Never later in my youth had I thought: "I need a clock" - you can ask people & see clocks everywhere. Everyone in your youth tries to control you by clocks & correct time & so - why not avoid it at all. - It gives you also a good excuse: "Ah - I didn't had my clock with me - & the one clock I saw, went totally wrong!" -

Decades later a girl friend gave me a ww I wore for about 2 years, - when I came home I always was glad to remove it at once - I hated to have something tied so close around my wrist. The relation lowered & so the contact to this ww. - It slipped somehow out of mind & memory & sleeps now forever in some forgotten corner of my mansion.

Another woman donated me a ww I totally liked - becaus it was extraordinaire - it was triangle formed, not digital - I hate to wear digital watches - had a brown leather belt & was rather expensive - I liked this ww more than those before, - but it got stolen like this: I had 3 fishes in one of my aquariums, that didn't behave too well & had an annonce note put in a washing saloon, that I would give these 3 perches (in german Barsch) away - 2 women answered to this annonce & came in my flat - while they sat on my sofa I catched the fishes for them & had to remove this ww for not getting destroyed by water & layed on the table. I gave them also some water plants, a ceramic decorative building for aquariums & all for free - & some time later, when they had left, I noticed my ww had also gone.

Later on a colluege who left our company gave me as farewell gift a nice fashioned ww - the funny thing - I had never in my life got a farewell gift from a collegue, nor had I given a goodbye present to a collegue - but on his last day, I also had bought a present for him
(a Dilbert book & a Dilbert calendar - he was a Dilbert fan).

I appreciated this fine & intelligent collegue very much & wore his ww for a while (from time to time) with pride - but you know - then comes the day when the batteries get low - & I did never care so much of wearing a ww, to even change batteries - I think this ww also slumbers somwhere in my flat in my grave yard of ww's.

Yes - & my mother in all these years had also given me about 2 or 3 ww - I wonder where they are?

Hmm - & Doris friend gave me also one digital ww - which now probably makes her life in one of my cupboards.

Chantal once gave me a digital ww, someone had given her & she didn't need it anyway & asked me whether I could use it - this is the only one I still carry with me, but not on my arm , but very hidden in a side bag of my rucksack I wear, when I leave my flat - so if I'm totally timelost I still have this last opportunity .

2 of these women who gave me ww's also gave me clocks, a alarm clock, a radio clock & another. - I think there is a line in it - first they give you ww's & later real grown up clocks - is that the comparative of getting controlled?

The radio clock I gave away, but the other ones are highly appreciated by me - I even buy new batteries for them.

So apparently ww's don't stick with me - I don't like the ticking of time, that probably leads us to our death hour & measures the units before, attached to my body - Nothing should pulsate & continously beat on & on than my own heart. My heart doesnt't like competition.

In China - they are very superstitious there - they believe that it's bad luck to give a ww or clock to a friend between lovers - that makes the lover leave, because the clock always changes -

In contrary - if here a lover donates a ww to his friend it means: "Please be punctual at our next appointment!"

Now since my appartment is totally filled with ww's & clocks - I never bought one myself - I notice, that since some years the clock attack is over - but there's a new attack in sight - now they donate me with cellphones.

Argh - I don't want to be reachable all the time - I don't want to be second controlled all the time & sometimes totally unreachable - that's just fine for me! - Because I want to reach people in my time & don't like to get caught by nuisance calls in their time - that 'ld be just a waste of my precious time.

- probably in a few years on they tend to give me the newest technical toy - a flying camera eye, that surrounds & films you day & night & gives them continously all movement & behaviour information about you - I probably won't live that long anymore, when finally they will have developed the machine injected to your body that controls your thoughts & feelings. But then it's probably not a lover's present, but a goverments tool - Welcome big brother!

PS: But feel free to donate to me a real exclusive & expensive golden wrist watch with multi of stones - I think I'm gonna wear it for a while before adding it to my clock museum

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