from the fantastic patterns of dreams to the surrealistic behaving of reality

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Nürnberg, Mittelfranken, 2006-03-12 - 12:07 a.m.

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excuses, excuses..

as an add-on to my yesterday's entry (so you're obliged to read first my yesterday's entry before reading this):

all day long I had the telefone number of my 'new brother' lying next to my phone - I wanted to call him in the early evening - about 19 o'clock I was very close to dial him, but then decided that may I first do the shopping for the weekend, because all shops close here at last at 20:00. -

when I came home short before 8 - I thought - maybe he's watching the news now - maybe later - some later time at about 9 o'clock pm I remembered, that my aunt had told me, that he gets up very early in the morning - so it was probably too late in the evening to call him.

I'm very good in excuses - in other words - it's really hard to do the first step. It would be much easier to meet him personally. - You can do a lot of things on the first meeting without spending too much words. - You can shake hands or embrace & see the reaction to each of your actions - you can smile at each other - you can show with a lot of little gestures how you react to each other - otherwise on the telefone line you're totally dependend on words - you have to talk continually without pause - or the other one has to talk continually - there's no escape, but to words. - You're totally naked stripped of any nice gestures down to bare words..

If you already know a person that's no problem - if you don't know a person it's usually a business or information call with no personal feelings involved - that's allright for me.

But making the first step to my 'unknown' older brother on telephone seems to be hard for me. How should I start the conversation? - "Hi - it's me - you remember me? - We've never met before, but somehow I found out that we are brothers.."

anyway - tomorrow on late Sunday afternoon I'll call him - (I hope so!)

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