from the fantastic patterns of dreams to the surrealistic behaving of reality

written in Dinglish (that's Germanic English)

Nürnberg, Mittelfranken, 2006-06-19 - 5:13 a.m.

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echoes from behind the beyond

"gettin' older & the nights are gettin' colder"

I'm so happy - I can't believe it - I found Ed Morgan again - through internet - he's been a good friend to me in the 70ies, 80ies - he is? , was a musician & poet also here in Nuremberg, had a record here "The Minstrelsinger" - he also wrote poetry in that time - like me & so we got aqquainted & friends then - he lived here in our community for 2 months - some years later he invited me to his home, somewhere near Springfield, Massachussetts - my only time (3 months) I've been in the states ever - a nice time anyway - later on we kept contact through letters - internet wasn't invented yet - hmm - it was probably me who didn't answer his last letter somewhere in the 80ies - than I had another adress & if ever he later on wrote me - the mail got probably lost - like I lost contact to Kathi the Unicorngirl in about the same time because I didn't answer for a while (a very long while) to her last but so sweet letter -
I had a very bad phase (decade) of not writing anymore to anyone of my far away living friends in that time -

When I tried to re-connect them long years later, - their adresses had changed & it's about impossible to find someone in the States from her if he/she changes adress or name or attitude..

so since about 3 years I tried to search them by internet - I searched Ed in google with words like "Ed Morgan" + "Minstrelsinger" etc. but most Ed Morgans were other artists in the states - by Minstrelsinger I found even his formerlerly here in Germany published record "The Minstrelsinger" - but while writing a mail to the seller I got the answer, that he has no contact anymore with Ed & knows nothing about his whereabouts..

I thought - Ed is (was?) an artist, a musician, a singer, a poet - he must meantimes have detected internet & appear there somewhere - if he' s still on his way he can't ignore this media - but I found only other kinds of Ed Morgans (there's so much of them)

tonight I tried it again - you know the knowledgbase of searchmachines grows & grows & thought about tricks to avoid those typical Ed's or Edward's Morgans links - there's been a famous painter with that name & also a much older musician , a lawier, a baseball player, a professor writing about bees (& maybe also some hot dog sellers) etc.

Tonight I also found an Musician playing in a childrensgarden - but this guy didn't look like Ed, probably a countrysinger - but the next page I found got more results - it was a record or cd-selling page called something like 'doggybag' - & there it was - his former record made in Germany a long time ago - I thought about connecting to that seller to get his adress, but then detected that his name was written "Edward R. Morgan" - argh I had forgotten to give the combination with this 'R' between in those search machines -

& now I got at once results with this adress: friends of ashland library - (I should have known that - Ed was alway very close connected to libraries - probably 'libraries' are the gateway to culture in USA (just joking)) - & that was really him - hmm - I noticed that also in the former adress childrensgarden it was him - The Ed Morgan I knew had blonde long hair - hmm - maybe I should have considered that last time we saw us was about 25 years ago - some people don't look exactly the same after the distance of 25 years (see the difference between a new born baby & a grown man of 25 - but adult people really shouldn't change anymore - you just don't expect that) -

Not only the colour of his hair has changed - the expressions of his face have sharpened somehow & some of the parts I knew in his face are wiped out - oohm has the same happened to my face too -
well probably - because last year I visited a woman, a good friend of my youth's time also about 25 years later, this was a woman I totally loved in that time & after I came there & we hardly recognized each other - she wasn't that cute girl with that long brown hair down to her shoulders - but an olderly Lady with white short hair -

after we've been a time together - she told me in the kitchen - now I recognize your face by your typical smile - that made me aware, that I too had changed so much (No-one from my old Kindergarten would recognize me anymore - except if I smile).

I wrote this entry very quick - probably with a lot of mistakes - meanwhiles I also wrote him a first mail through that Children's Garden side -

& now I feel a bit sad - deeply sad, because of all the change that life has done to us meanwhile - hardly to regognize each other anymore - I remember when Ed & me walked (age 25) through a Nurembergian warehouse & a vendor girl greeted us with 'Hallo schoene Maenner' (that means: 'hello you beautyful men) - it seems that age was gnawing on us & mirrors began to lie to us - we should sue "age" to refund on-going life - but on the other hand: probably we were the ones to let life just go on to the goals we needed, greeded & craved for - & in all of my life I did never see a life with a rewind button installed. - Maybe it's very hidden, cos I'm still searching mine...

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