from the fantastic patterns of dreams to the surrealistic behaving of reality

written in Dinglish (that's Germanic English)

Nürnberg, Mittelfranken, 2006-07-31 - 3:28 a.m.

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Throwing stones at someone is an attempt of muerder!

I once saw an wild life docu of Savannah animals in Africa - it was something about Hyaenas & Lions - Lions in general are stronger than Hyaenas, but hyaeneas appear to be mostly in bigger groups while lions sometimes on the hunt are only one or two - a single lion easily loses his beast of prey if a pack of hyaenas come by & take over - he could maybe attack & kill one of them - but he has no chance against the pack - hyaenas have very strong jaws, with which they can easily bite all through, through flesh & bone - this means if a hyaena even gets on his legs within his teeth - it cracks the bone & the lion is lost. - So lions preferably don't mess with hyaenas.

In this film there was a hyaena following a male lion who was marking his district with urine - she mockingly followed him in a longer distance & all the time when he had marked a spot she went there & peed over that place - the lion went on and on - the scene was always the same - as soon he was about 100 meters away the mocking hyaena went there & over-peed his mark - the lion didn't wanted to get in trouble with the hyaena - but of course he got more & more frustrated & a lion kingly wrath grew in his mind -

& then there was the moment when he may thought "enough is enough" - he ran against the hyaena, who was some 100 meters away & she was deeply surprized to get attacked (because she thought she got him under control)- he ran & ran with all his might & really got the hyaena hitting her with wild rage & she had no chance to react - she was dead within seconds. -

When I saw this it was somehow satisfying - I felt with the lion - who got all the time molested & pin-pricked by the hyaena - the wrath of an individual against a 'stalker'. - (Do you had such an experience in life? - I had! - & 1000ds of pinpricks is enough! -we don't wait for the 1001th one, because by then there seems something wrong in Arabian tales..)

* _ *

Till I was 10 I lived in a small village close to Schwabach & the school was about 2 km away - it was quite usual to walk that distance to school for kids - well it & didn't hurt us anyway - school way was a long walk to explore things & surroundings - half of the way was nature: fields, meadows, gardens etc. -

but there was while when on my home from school I got regularly attacked by a guy of my age, called Eddy - he often sneaked to me from behind, grabbed me with his fingers over my head in the eyes & threw me to ground - for a while I felt helpless to him - I was always afraid on my way home, wether he walked the same way & would attack me.

But I noticed that all his attacks came from behind - he never dared to fight me face by face & I had the thought to defend against him -

Next time he tried to attack me on my way home I took a stone from the ground & threatened to throw it at him, which made him cowardly run away from me - he was by then about 10 meters in front of me - every time he tried to return to me I raised my arm with the stone like I would be hurling it to him & he ran off - this was a revelation for me - I knew he was stronger than me, but I could just chase him away by threatening him? - Hmm - great!

Well I had to repeat this little exercise with him for a few of days until he had understood so far, that he never ever terrorized me again - in some of my following attempts to chase him away I didn't even had a stone in my hand - just as he saw my 'ready to throw a stone at him' hand - he ran off, without recognizing that I had nothing like air in my fist - & I never threw a stone at him, because I knew if I would throw that stone & fail him, he would become aware, that I couldn't really hurt him & attack me again - so better threat him but never fullfill the threat, before he realizes how weak I really was..(that's probably the idea behind the A-bomb - I have it (but of course I'll never throw it))

* _ *

when at age of seven I've been in the second class in school in the recess (break) times I got for a time often molested, mocked & attacked by a small group of bully children from my class, because I have a physical handicap (a skoliose - like Toulouse-Lautrec) - they were giving me bad names & attacking me like black ravens do to a white raven. - Of course my younger brother who was in the same class (in that time they had the first & second class united in one classroom) tried to be on my side - but of course without effect - so I put in my older brother who was in the same school (fourth class) - to help me defend from this little gang - he came over sometimes & chased them away from me - he didn't hurt or beat anyone - he just chased them away - they ran off because he was bigger & stronger as them. - Nice way to go of course!

But then this little gang of bullies went to my female teacher (she was only a substitute for a real teacher & was in fact a teacher from a dancing school - probably there wasn't enough real teachers available in that time) -
& they complained about me & my brothers - like we were a gang to bully & threaten them on the schoolyard - I tried to explain to her the truth, but she didn't listen to my probably timid voice & she believed only to those little gangsters accusing me & my older brother, because some of the gang one of them called "Charly" (the super-favourite of my teacher) - were her favourites in the class, because they were so cute & nice with her - I was in that time still very introverted - so had no way or idea to explain myself - she realy accused me in front of the class as "the evil Geske brothers" who try to hurt & chase around other kids in the schoolyard - now I remember her name - she was Mrs. Pickel - & I never ever had such an injust teacher afterwards again.. - but the reality in our little schoolyard was: at least they left me alone (in peace) after my older brother had threatened them - that gave me the wisdom: "stronger older brothers are more important than stupid ignorant school teachers" - Yeah!

Do you know why I wrote these 3 little stories - Hmm - let's say Mrs. Pickel is UN & let's say Hezbollah is.. - you know what I mean!

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