from the fantastic patterns of dreams to the surrealistic behaving of reality

written in Dinglish (that's Germanic English)

Nürnberg, Mittelfranken, 2006-09-02 - 12:51 a.m.

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like a molesting shadow stalker..

I could be dead by now!

I have & had many interests - some changing, some lasting - I'm such a multi-interested person - that I couldn't answer your question in what I'm really intested in, which hobby etc. I got - because I wouldn't know where to start at -

All my life long I had phases of fads (sometimes for the most different themes) - some lasting for some weeks, some for months or years, deeply involved in all kind of stuff from trivial hobbies to high arts..(I can't list them all now)

- I can become a real maniac in my interests (fads, favourite pursuits), always digging deeper, getting more involved than most of the common people around me would - I always like to become an expert in what I'm involved to.

In the late 90ies I got deeply involved in aquaristics - It climaxed that I had in 1999 9 running Aquariums of different sizes, - in some breeding special fishes - in others having big underwater scenarios of arrangement of plants, woodroots - curious sorts of tropical fishes - the more skurile, the more I liked them - I had become an expert to water conditions, species of fish - which sorts tolerate each other, - water plants, different sorts of food for the different kinds etc.-

well meanwhile I lost most of the former interest in all that aquaristic stuff, letting them slowly die out (do you know that some kinds of fish get older than 15 years? - I know because I have a loach that's now about 16 years old (a Pakistani Loach with the latin name: 'botia lohachata' - see here: "") & some others are older than 10 years) -

In fact in the last view years I lost so much interest in all that aqaristic stuff, that I'm partly neglecting the necessary maintenance to the basins to keep them looking good to the eye - Of course I feed them & sometimes change the water, but there's from time to time more to do to keep them tidy. - & I didn't do these 'from time to time' things no-more since about 2 yours -

But 2 days ago I started to rearrange some things in an aquarium - plants had overgrown most of its contents, - clean a filter here - change huge masses of liters there - replace some of the lights etc. -

So yesterday still involved in my new interest to make my aquariums look beautyful again - I wanted to close down another of the 4 remaining aquariums, by catching the last 2 inhabitants, 2 thick fat catfish to the biggest Aquarium (size 120 cm x 60 cm x 60 cm) - later on I took on of the wooden roots out of this abandonden aquarium to put it in the big one for better shelter for the catfish -

But this root was so big & tangled that I couldn't put it in the big one while there still the 2 neon-light bars were laying over it - well the space would be wide enough to put the root in if I removed one of the light bars - so in one hand the big root trunk I heaved with the other one the light bar on one side to squeeze the root in - but then the other end of the light bar slided off the top edge of the aquarium & slipped into the water - while already about 20 cm under surface I had grabbed it by quick blind instinct & tore it out again (I'm always quick in decision in such cases) - But hmm too quick in such a case -

My stupid blind quick instinct made me move my hand into a water basin where there also just a high voltage electrical lamp has dropped & know all those stories of hairdryer usage in the bath tub. - Crime films never stop to repeat that theme of killing a partner by dropping 'accidently' an electrical device in the basin where the victim is relaxing. -

Of course there is some prevention to this neon light bars for aqaristik to letting no water in - but as I sometimes remove those neon tubes I know that that only an - after years of usage often worn out rubber ring isolates the electricity from the water - & this isolation is definetely not made for to be safe under water..

This dropping of the light bar & my grabbing & tearing it out again was only parts of a second - but as later on I got aware of the situation I slightly shuddered, but then continued my work of cleaning & re-aranging & changing filters etc.

Much later in the later I woke - tried to sleep on again, because it was much to early, when this situation came back in my mind - I remembered a story I heard in my childhood - when a knight in old Germany rode on his horse in deep winter on a long trip to reach the 'Bodensee' (a big lake in South Germany bordering Switzerland) - all the region was covered with deep snow - he & his horse were tired & finally he met some people in a small village - He asked them how long it still would need to reach the Bodensee. - But they looked at him surprized & said: "You just came over it!" -

This made the knight aware that he had ridden over all the huge Bodensee, which was under the snow all covered with ice. - He was so shocked about his dangerious route he just had survived, that he fell dead from his horse.

Hmm - I had nearly escaped death the day before - but got neither to much shocked nor got a heartattack afterwards - maybe I'm used to it - I often in my life escaped closely & there could have been some very awfull accidents in my life which I luckily escaped. -

It's so easy to die or have a real bad accident - sometimes I think it's easier to die or have a bad accident than to survive - & I don't think it's luck if I survive a critical situation - I always believe that if I survive it's God who may doesn't condemn me that much already , that he allows me live a bit further on
- my storybook of life is may not yet quite done & I don't know yet where & when it ends - we always hope for higher solutions with utmost happy ending - don't we?

maybe to think that you could never die is a miscalculation & if ever 'memento mori' sometimes comes in our minds - in most cases we quickly just chase it away away with all the delusions & pleasures of modern life we're deeply involved like in a trance of an everlasting big party - we chase these uncomfortable thoughts away like a molesting shadow stalker..

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