from the fantastic patterns of dreams to the surrealistic behaving of reality

written in Dinglish (that's Germanic English)

Nürnberg, Mittelfranken, 2006-10-04 - 4:28 a.m.

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grandma's return

Today I visited my old parents - I haven't been there for about 6 weeks now - I felt a bit guilty that I hadn't visited them for such a long time - well of course we had telephone contact meanwhile, but somehow my weekends were partly too busy & partly I just didn't feel like going there - they're sometimes still that possesive, that I don't like to be too often there, but 6 weeks was a bit too long.

Also today in the morning they had got my grandma (age 105 - see here a foto when she was 103) back from hospital, where she's been for 5 week due to of her broken ankle - see here.

She slept when I came in the early afternoon - at last she slept from 12 p.m. till 5 p.m - when later on she came down the stairs with her walking stick & sat in the kitchen for supper - I was shocked how much changed she was after these 5 weeks being kept in hospital & care house -

OK - her spirit, her mental consciousness had diminuished in slow degrees over the last view years - you couldn't really have conversation with her anymore, but she was still aware of everything around her - she repeated herself often, sat most times in a half slumbering state on the sofa, but she fit in the little daily rituals of family life. - Now back she looked & behaved so much diminuished the the person I knew before - her face looked like ripped of all harmony & she hardly smiled anymore - my parents had visited her about every day in all that 5 long weeks, but there were other people caring for her all day, people indifferent to her personally but just feeding, bedding & ruling her in that typical store keeping hospital manner.

A lot of old people die soon if they disembogue in the autumn of life in these stations of social plight where they care only for the bodily functions of a persons's life - they die because they get aware that life is not worth to be lived anymore if you get lost in a state of anonymousity.

My grandma also seemed much more confused than before the hospital time. - she repeated sentences without caring for the response - she asked me to wash her head & later on my father to rub her back with a commanding voice - (maybe she was used that the nurses in the hospital did these things for her) - she was all in her life time very good in commanding.

Later in the evening she became a little bit more conscious again - may the familiar surroundings help her to regenerate to a better state of mind again -

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