from the fantastic patterns of dreams to the surrealistic behaving of reality

written in Dinglish (that's Germanic English)

Nürnberg, Mittelfranken, 2006-12-03 - 7:23 a.m.

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I refused to sign the contract.

Another strange dream I had these days – in this dream a good old Freundin (female friend) of mine told me how I could be utmost beautyful & succesfull – means having succes by being beautiful –

She gave me detailed beauty tips made for women style (I’m a man –just to mention) & helped me make my hair & gave me dresses- - strange thing that in this dream I became to look like a beautiful blond female fashion star – I wasn’t aware anymore, that in real life I’m a man- I remember that my friend Angela gave me detailed instructions how to wear the trigger on my shoulders of my exclusive fashion gown & how much she would hide my breasts to public etc.- well my hair was done, my dress was done – I looked like Britney Spears & Paris Hilton united, ready for the big party of celebrities, ready to be detected & becoming no. 1 in high society

So I went down the end of the hall where a big mirror was fixed. – I looked in the mirror to confirm my new look “Sexy Sady” with a last glance. –

But all I saw there reflected was my old me – I looked extremely tired & torn – the change to the beautiful celebrity my friend A. had intrigued me in – hadn’t worked out. – I was still the old same, worse looking than before (like in real life – there are mirrors that flatter you & there are mirrors that just make you look awful)

But while I dissapointedly detected in the mirror of truth, that nothing had changed & the enchantment of change to glory & fame my friend A.. had put over me hadn’t worked out, I saw a text field appearing (like in an internet form) on the bottom of the mirror, where I had to sign to agree with whatever this new style fashion fame demanded from me to really change into that fashion lady of fortune & success. – but I knew that to sign here was like to give a blanco cheque to 'whosoever' (may Mr. D.) to give away my own opinions, life style & crucial conviction - & I refused to sign, so missing that chance probably forever. –

I went into the next rooms on the other side of the hall with the mirror. – My friend A. was there, blaming me to not have taken the chance, - she began to critizice my appearance & the last thing I remembered in this dream before I woke up, that she looked at my buttocks (ass) & said that she knew much more sexy buttocks of other men & mine didn’t look well proportioned to her – I remembered, that other girls before had made compliments about my buttocks & started to refuse to believe in A.’s arguments anymore - & in just that moment I woke up.

Reflecting the dream while being awake I was proud that even in my dream I had refused to sign a contract with the devil, lured by a blonde temptation, fortune & fame. – I shall stay what & who I am & know my values well & I don’t need disguise or glamour or assimilation to Zeitgeist driven fashion & society standards to be on my way. – I’m on my way anyway - only fools make contracts for fortune (these tricky contracts are always only designed to steal away your fortune & fate, just like the false promises of gambling..)

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