from the fantastic patterns of dreams to the surrealistic behaving of reality

written in Dinglish (that's Germanic English)

Nürnberg, Mittelfranken, 2007-02-17 - 2:27 a.m.

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pubescence's graduation cravings

I just read in the news that a Lady at age 84 was sentenced to 3 years jail, because she had sexual intercourse with an 11 years old boy. After these 3 years she’ll be registered as an sexual offender (she’s 87 by then) – So keep your children safe of 87 years old ladys looking for prey.

When I was 12 or 13 years old - just in the start of puberty - a classmate with nickname ‘Matzi’(Martin) told me a ‘true’ story of a boy in our age whose parents knew his parents (or somehow like that) – the story was that this boy had been seduced by a woman in the twenties a sexual affair, he liked it at first, but later on somehow felt guilty or ashamed & told his parents

I still remember that I thought while he told me that story: “Why did this fool tell his parents? – I wouldn’t have.” & “Why could such a wonderful thing not happen to me?” – Yes this was exactly what I thought. – & I also had fantasies about finding that woman who seduced that boy - "Would she do the same to me?"

Puberty had already aroused my longing for women, to recover & reveal their ultimate nakedness & touching those parts & getting touched, to enter those imagined forbidden paradise zones & my fantasies included also ‘older’ women (at least no women of age 84) – I remember, that in that age I once got a hard-on while sitting in the back of a car very close to a woman in the thirties – our hips were touching & this was enough to let my imagination run naked (I remember this situation because it became a bit embarrassing to me, when minutes later we left the car & tried to hide the tent in my trousers. – I had a lot of sexual, but not too wild fantasies in that age which didn’t care, whether the women of my longing were my age or older.

But all we got was to maybe sometimes see a bare breast or a naked ass in a film forbidden for us youths. – When Matzi once showed me a picture of a stark naked woman – the first one I ever saw – I was totally shocked, that women had this delta of pubic hair. – I had imagined, that pubic hair was a male thing, while ours was just about starting to grow. - & this rare foto didn’t even show vulval lips yet.

Of course I didn’think of intercourse yet in that age, but as a typical boy you are so hot & curious for female flesh & may if ever I would have got really confronted with a full grown adult naked woman, with her full grown sexual organs, I would maybe got really shocked if this woman would turn obsessive to me, grabbing my youth body with her full grown hairy deep crevice.

So it was probably good that I didn’t get that experience at age 12 - - But at least at age 15 it would have been already fine for me & I wouldn’t have cared if she was my age or 5 or 10 years older. –

But on the other side - apparently at age 15 my personality hadn’t grown yet impressive enough to make me that attractive to women to make them seduce me & I was still pretty shy & so I had to wait for some long long longing, craving & yearning years on for my first time of touch & smell & intimacity of a woman & then when it happened the first time, the chosen woman wasn’t even older than me & of course not 84..

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