Ah – seldom but sometimes if I dream at night I’m really glad to wake up to escape that desaster – well I never have nightmares, waking up screaming of terror – I usually can master my dreams, because I can be very tricky, offensive & even aggressive, chasing some dream monsters away. - - but sometimes there are just bad situations in a dream, which could be icky, disgusting & tedious, dreams you’re very glad to wake up & find out, that your real life situation is much better than the weird dream you’ve just escaped.
& this was one of these tedious, icky & disgusting dreams:
the situation was, that I was coming home to my small 2 chambers, one kitchen & one bathroom flat – finding a lot of people sitting everywhere around in my living rooms – invited by a friend, - I didn’t know who they were, but found them very tedious hanging around in my rooms about everywhere – I turned to kitchen & what I saw there was also disgusting, - there were bags on the floor with maggots crawling out of them – there were some few big fat black rats crawling on the floor & I wondered, why they didn’t flee when I came in – I felt really threatened by them, felt they would maybe attack me at once – I noticed one got struck by a mouse trap, but still slightly hurt moved on to me – I feared, she was becoming really aggressive towards me & tried to smash her with something heavy, another rat was already hanging with her teeth in my sleeve - but I had to .put something like a paper between the rat & me, before I hit her with that heavy piece, because I didn’t wanted to see that messy gore. – I succeeded somehow in killing them all, because they were so slow, but it was an ugly mess on the floor, which I thought I would later on remove – I closed the kitchen door & hoped nobody else would enter there & find that mess – back in my rooms all those guys invited by my aquaintance were still hanging around, blocking my way to my computer & things I’d like to do in my rooms – while first I had somehow accepted them as guests somehow, I became really angry – I got aware, that none of them was invited by me & decided to tell them to leave at once, because I didn’t had invited them, nor knew them – so by what reason I should allow them to take over my place? –
while planning this decision I went to the bathroom,. which was astoundingly fresh & clean & un-crowded – such a place gives you energy to realize your decicions – but just when I was about going back to my rooms to throw those uninvited guests out of my place, I woke up. – aah - & I was so grateful, that a) my kitchen wasn’t that state of mess like I had dreamed & b) that I didn’t had to throw out all of these unwelcome visitors, because they simply just didn’t exist – I’m a very tender & polite person & I don’t like to be rude to people at all – but on some else hand I of course would even in real life kick you out at once if I’d find you sitting uninvited & un-authorized sitting on my PC
but on the other hand – my kitchen is recently really a bit untidy & may needs a bit of cleaning – on the next other hand: my flat is never overcrowded – so this dream is probably just some hidden fears inside of me of losing control of my daily life surroundings – like I regularly dream – that I lost my flat somehow – living somewhere elsewhere in very districted conditions & regretting that I had given up my most precious terrific luxury flat & the worst of these dreams is: that I live at my parents home again, having lost everything which I had built up, after I had left them. – there must be some deep fear inside of me of losing my material surroundings of survival& that I’d fall back to the dependent state of existing & being I once had left, when I had fled my parents dictatorship of education home lon long time ago - hm