from the fantastic patterns of dreams to the surrealistic behaving of reality

written in Dinglish (that's Germanic English)

Nürnberg, Mittelfranken, 2007-06-25 - 5:41 a.m.

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untrustfull heart

yes I'm in love again since long time of abstinence - 2 women very close to me - it's not that I can't deciede - both are only half of an affair -no promises yet - just a feeling to need each other - well I can't share that forever for 2 women at one time - but I don't want to decide if it seems that none of them is yet quite clear to me - I get a lot of´I need you' - hardly to dissolve if happens at the same time - no I don't enjoy it - it just makes me sometimes feel uncomfortable - makes me feel that I'm kind of a gambler -

but I'm only very careful meanwhile - a burnt heart doesnt trust anymore that quick - give me prove & then I'll give you prove - but I don't give my heart firstly anymore - I learnt that by all my life's experience to be not such a fool again - Gettin' older made me very suspicious - how will I found out ever how much you will love me tomorrow? -

see Bob Dylans song to this theme:


Do you love me, or are you just extending goodwill?
Do you need me half as bad as you say, or are you just feeling guilt?
I've been burned before and I know the score
So you won't hear me complain.
Will I be able to count on you
Or is your love in vain?

Are you so fast that you cannot see that I must have solitude?
When I am in the darkness, why do you intrude?
Do you know my world, do you know my kind
Or must I explain?
Will you let me be myself
Or is your love in vain?

Well I've been to the mountain and I've been in the wind,
I've been in and out of happiness.
I have dined with kings, I've been offered wings
And I've never been too impressed.

All right, I'll take a chance, I will fall in love with you
If I'm a fool you can have the night, you can have the morning too.
Can you cook and sew, make flowers grow,
Do you understand my pain?
Are you willing to risk it all
Or is your love in vain?

So will all my love be in vain? - Well if I can't decide - maybe! - But if even I decide - maybe too - I've been hurt that often in single partner ships, that I don't want & need that again - I want to be the king of my feelings, not a woman who steals my heart to may waste it away - I'm very suspicious meanwhile! -

well maybe time teaches me otherwise..

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