you shouldn't go out without your natural shield of protection, that's your awake senses, your selfconsciousness, your trust & faith to succeed in your daily routine � I'm not superstitious & don't believe in signs or anything of that shit � but I believe in my strength to succeed the day in my personal attitude & ability to keep it � usually I feel superior to my surroundings, when I leave home � but sometimes my bio-sphere is weak, I had slept too less or drank too much last night or had too much sex or what else, I feel somehow out of balance, & so weak & vulnerable - & then of course I try to move carefully � you shouldn't make big action in such a state..
If this sense of vulnerabiltiy is extreme � I notice sometimes that my surroundings somehow sense it & sooner or later attack me � like a dog who attacks those who fall or flee..
So today was one of 'these days' (don't ask me why � I'll have my excuses) � I made it a reading day � canceling any appointment for the day (Maria in Bamberg waited in vain) -
but in the late afternoon it became too boring for me to sit all day long alone in my flat � I decided to take the train to a small village called Feucht, 10 km of Nuremberg with my byke to smell some sweet country air, have a little fresh air & exercise or something like that -
So I did � I didn't ride too far � in fact it became tedious after short time & I decided to return after half an hour � it wasn't the day for an sportive event � While I drove back to Feucht � there was a small passage in front of me with an bykers area & a pedestrians area, divided by a white line � it was a bit narrow & then there was this man walking his dog without a cord � walking around freely in front of him � it was real big dog & one of those dogs you always get a bit afraid if meet them alone � German shepard style � I really hesitated to overtake them & rode for a while slowly behind them � but then as the passage got broader, I took my chance to overtake them carefully - first the man & some meters on the dog � but he noticed me coming & turned just to the way I wanted to cross him � there was this moment when my right shank was just close to his nose & watched him starting to attack it � just in this moment is owner called him 'amigo', which was apparently his name & he stopped attacking me � his owner then called 'Bravo!' to appreciate his not biting me..
oohm � does this mean this dogs usual behaviour is just biting by-passing people & can only be stopped by calling his name by his owner?
I should have overtaken sitting on the byke, but just carefully pass them carefully off the byke � with the byke between me & the dog -
I felt still or even more vulnerable & wondered what would happen next � well at the station, while there was still half an hour to wait for my train � there was a free bench to sit comfortably all the half hour I had to wait in the late evening sun - well at least comfortable for about 3 minutes � then there arrived a young man with a big rucksack on his shoulders, greeting me, like I was a friend of him & sat closely to me on that bench � it was a very long bench � why did he sit that close � I felt a bit disturbed in my private sphere & hoped he didn't take me for a woman, because it was already twilight & I have half long hair � he then started to smoke & the wind was just concentrated to send all his smoke just into my face in straight line � I thought about moving to another place, but this was the only bench in front of the station � I sat a bit more backwards on my seat to avoid his smoke-bypass, but just the he also sat back on his seat � maybe to stay on my level, which I just was trying to avoid -
I left the bench & fled to the platform where my train was to arrive, not to mention, that there another young man came in the meanwhile much duskier twilight much to close to me (long hair doesn't mean woman!)
I felt somehow angry meanwhile � inside that train � while I was sitting there for that 10 minute ride to Nuremberg � there came 2 ticket inspectors � to control whether someone had not paid � of course I had my ticket � but then they asked me about a ticket for my byke - & I got aware, that I had totally forgotten to buy that � you have to buy tickets for bikes & I usually do so � yes & while the inspectors controlled me I have now to pay 40 Euros (about 60 $) - just for forgetting to buy that ticket for 1.30 Euros.
At the station in Nuremberg I hoped I would make it without any other attacks & molestings to my safe home (did I mention that my bike has no lights & you have to pay high fee if police catches you on that?)
At least I made it home without any other accidents & hope tomorrow will be a much better day � well it just can't be worse...
