from the fantastic patterns of dreams to the surrealistic behaving of reality

written in Dinglish (that's Germanic English)

Nürnberg, Mittelfranken, 2007-06-09 - 2:37 a.m.

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fool for love

can't believe that I'm such a fool-

I'm in love with a girl 20 years younger than me- she's beautiful - she looks like Naomi Campbell - she's French, she's black, she's just 21 (don't ask me for my age) - she's got a big heart - just like me - where there are lot of friends & lovers are welcome - well just like me -

Since, since long I lost all hope in all the true loves I ever had in life - I invented a system of having a fine network of tender & nice friends - meanwhile I prefer to stay free - a network of good friends - & of very close women around me is just fine enough - I don't crave for more, because all my life's experience told me, that one single relationship can just hurt that much - I had that more than trice in my life & just had enough with that - no woman ever hurt me -

I'm a good & sometimes best friend to some women, but I like to stay free to other relations - I don't give promises anymore - & I don't care which other friends you have - feel free to do live your live -

but now something is happening & I don't know what it is (of course I know) - well I thought I was immune by life experience -

well I don't ask for reasons - it just happens & it' so nice & sweet that I can't believe that it's me happening to me -

well in what we are talking - she could be my daughter - she's so naive, but in other themes prefering the new world we older people prefer to ignore, quite superior - but I prefer to having not a superior attitude to her - I can't believe, that she searches more for my advice & talking with me about me about all her fancies, loves, dreams etc. - about her ever changing lovers -

so nice that I'm not her next lover - she can't never decide who's the best, because she's so young & so proud & so superior..

we've been talking about that theme these evening -
after she's been telling about all about her to be lovers, with whom she wants affairs, decides to play for a while, but couldn't imagine to last an affair with any of them for more than 2 weeks -

since she know's that I love her - she told me that may she shouldn't have told me about all the guys she's crazy about about, because I might get jelious -

oohm - I told her, that I never wouldn't like or even dream to be her lover (well I couldn't even afford it by her luxury needs & by the way never thought about that before)

well we got a good relationship - I'm her masseur (professionel) & personal advicor meanwhile - I never thought that just a patient gets me so personally included ( I must have my weak points)

- you know nothing is more tedious than to be responsible for a 20-year old girl , while you'r in your fourties - the music is different - the way you chose your clothes etc. - but if you're blinded by love, you don't even care if their music is different, if their fashion is different - body language excuses all & everything - that probably makes cultures & races mix -

& you don't know whereto it leads

but thank you Larine for the sweet moments time you gave me this evening - I don't care for your other others lovers who are probably much finer & younger than me, as long as I keep my role as your olderly advisor -

you don't even know that all I want to do is to keep you from the fate of becoming like that parable told in Bob Dylans song 'Rolling Stone' -

Once upon a time you dressed so fine
You threw the bums a dime in your prime, didn't you?
People'd call, say, "Beware doll, you're bound to fall"
You thought they were all kiddin' you
You used to laugh about
Everybody that was hangin' out
Now you don't talk so loud
Now you don't seem so proud
About having to be scrounging for your next meal.

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be without a home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

You've gone to the finest school all right, Miss Lonely
But you know you only used to get juiced in it
And nobody has ever taught you how to live on the street
And now you find out you're gonna have to get used to it
You said you'd never compromise
With the mystery tramp, but now you realize
He's not selling any alibis
As you stare into the vacuum of his eyes
And ask him do you want to make a deal?

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

You never turned around to see the frowns on the jugglers and the clowns
When they all come down and did tricks for you
You never understood that it ain't no good
You shouldn't let other people get your kicks for you
You used to ride on the chrome horse with your diplomat
Who carried on his shoulder a Siamese cat
Ain't it hard when you discover that
He really wasn't where it's at
After he took from you everything he could steal.

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

Princess on the steeple and all the pretty people
They're drinkin', thinkin' that they got it made
Exchanging all kinds of precious gifts and things
But you'd better lift your diamond ring, you'd better pawn it babe
You used to be so amused
At Napoleon in rags and the language that he used
Go to him now, he calls you, you can't refuse
When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose
You're invisible now, you got no secrets to conceal.

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

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